Rough couple of years.

So it has been some time since I have blogged. Partly the reason is I forgot about it. The other reason, is who really cares what I write? But I have things to share and even if no one reads this, I can at least use it as a journal -- not a deep personal journal, but some what of one. I have to get back into the grove of writing. I have taken time off from it because I feel what is the point, no one wants to publish me, and who will really read my story? I think it is good and I LOVE my characters, but will anyone else see the greatness of these four characters that I have developed, brought out of me and shared with the world? Maybe I need to just keep them to myself, maybe I am not as good as I thought I was. To change the subject, my baby Pepper died last year. She fell off the bed and could not walk any longer. I had to euthanize her. :*( It was a heartbreaking time for me. I couldn't see my life without her. I had a hard two week, then I went to PetSmart and found two adorable kittens. A Ragdoll and a Marx Tabby. The Marx Tabby he was different from other Tabbies I have seen. He has circular patterns instead of the lines like I have seen.  

They are a delight to have. They have grown this past year. I got them June 14 and Feb 28 was the first birthday and June 14 2014 was their anniversary of being with me.  I had a birthday party for them and then we celebrated their anniversary.  These pictures were the first day they were with me.  Oh they were so timid.  Tye, he was more adventurous -- still is.  Tasie is very shy and is more reserved.

Tasie

Tye Dye

After about a month or two of having them, I was cleaning up the living room and took some trash bags that were full of paper and threw it out into the trash.  About 20 minutes or so later, I began looking for Tasie.  I could not find her.  I called and looked and searched.  NO WHERE!!  I COULD NOT FIND HER!!!  I began to panic and cry.  
I could not lose another baby.  I was very attached to her.  I knelt down on my knees and prayed to Heavenly Father.  I told Him of my love for Tasie and how I wish to find her. I asked for guidance to find her.  I ended my prayer and the thought came to me, she is in the trash.  I tore out of my room, out the front door and ran to the garbage can.  -- now I have to pause and say I am a germ freak.  I wash my hands after touching the garbage can for any reason. That being said, I could careless and I opened the garbage can and began pulling the garbage out.  I took everything out looking for her.  I could not find her.  I had the feeling she climbed out and I had to find her.  So I walked down the street to the north and Mom went west looking for her.  We called and I cried, Mom was crying to.  We could not find my baby.  I felt horrible.  I threw my baby in the garbage.  I was a terrible person.  I had to find her.  I got this sudden impression that she was not to the north, but back to the south of my house.  So I turned around and walked down the street to the south.  I flashed the flash light and I saw these glowing eyes across the street under a SUV by the wheel.  Another cat was there, but left as I walk up to the other cat, whom I KNEW was Tasie.  I picked her up (I was worried she was going to run from me, but she didn't)  I held he tightly and walked her home.  As soon as we got into the house she jumped out of my arms and ran downstairs.  I don't think she has been the same since.  I think she is traumatized and she will only let me hold her when SHE wants to be held.  To this day, I still feel guilty about this mishap.  My poor baby.

Now both Tye and Tasie are doing wonderful.  Their personalities are coming in and they are really having fun being in my home.  I think they are happy, they play and purr a lot, so that must mean something.


They have grown and are looking beautiful.  They are my babies and I look forward to having them in my life for a very long time.  I had a birthday party for them on February 28th because that is their guesstimated birth date.  I also had a little celebration on the 1 year anniversary.  It was fun.  I thought it was really fun for their birthday to have wet food as their birthday cake and hats and 

birthday presents.  It was fun and 
even though at first they seemed annoyed with the hats, I think they liked their presents and the "cake". Tasie was not as fond of the "cake", so she got Temptation treats.  They were so cute sniffing through their presents and then they played with the catnip mouse I got them.  Tye played a little bit with it but lost interest in it over the last year or so.  Tasie loves it.  She still plays with it and enjoys     tossing it up in the air.  Maybe I will see if I can post a video sometime.

Tasie not wanting the "cake"

Tye Dye LOVING the "Cake"

Tasie loving the mouse!

Tye Playing with the mouse.  He first stole it from Tasie

   Moving on to later... August 2014

I began dating.  The first guy I met was on OKCupid.  Yeah that is not a great place for someone who wants to live the commandments and live the way the Lord wants.  In hindsight, I can see the warning signs of the mistakes I made, but that is what dating is about, you learn.  I thought the guy and I were seclusive, but I felt he was dating someone else. I asked him about it,  and he freaked out and said, WHAT???!?!?  Did you drive by my house??  I felt right there, he was hiding something. So he got mad and said that he had been accused of things before and he wasn't going there again, and he didn't want to continue dating.  Lesson learned.  Until there is a marriage certificate in hand signed by the sealer, I have no hold on anyone I am dating.  Maybe when we are engaged, but even then,, they still have their choice to go to someone else.

October 2014

Found this guy on the internet.  Never met, but we clicked.  He was so attentive, and he called and we texted and emailed and yahoo chatted.  He said the sweetest things. They were beautiful.  He told me he was going to Africa on a mission (he is in the military) and asked if I would wait.  I agreed.  We talked every day.  I felt strongly that I was on the right path with him.  Patch was his name and everything he said was beautiful.  Everything I wanted to have in a man. When he got to Africa, he started telling me about all the troubles he was having.  He broke his majors mini Ipad and asked If I would buy him a new one to replace and then he would repay me when he got back to the States.  I told him I didn't have the money.  He was sad, but understood.  He then said he wished he had a laptop so we could video chat, I told him I have one but it has to be kept plugged in.  He said, 'no, I will be in the jungle so I won't have power, can't you buy me a new one?"  I said no I can't.  Then he said he dropped his phone in the water and needed another one. He asked if I would get him a new one and put me on my account.  I said I can get you a pay as you go phone and he said, no that won't work, I need a Galaxy 5.  I thought about it and said ok.  I went to the AT&T store and the sales girl, who I had become friends with, said this sounded like Catfishing. Definition "A catfish is someone who pretends to be someone they're not using Facebook or other social media to create false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances."

I had never heard that term before.  I went home and told him how I felt and he got mad.  Said that I shouldn’t be telling our problems to anyone.  It was between him, God, and me.  He called me and made me feel small and stupid.  He was like I took pictures with my name on my military fatigues so you could see.  If you were smart enough, you would have noticed.  I became very submissive and felt stupid.  I finally told him I had to go to work and I couldn’t talk. 

After my shift I went to the temple and sat outside  I prayed for guidance and nothing.  I got no answer.  So on my way home I called the bishop, needing someone strong in the gospel, in tuned with the spirit.  I did not feel Dad was there for me and so I thought the Bishop would be a good idea.  He didn’t answer.  I felt I was abandoned.  I then called Brother Green.  He did not answer, once again I felt abandoned.  I got home and talked with Darrell.  He came in and talked to me a few minutes then said if you want a blessing I will do it later, I have to go to work.  Three strikes.  I felt miserable.  Mom then suggested Brother Stowell, our home teacher.  He came over and listened to what was going on and then gave me a 9.5 minute blessing.  In the blessing, he said that I have had lots of struggles emotionally, mentally and physically, the Lord is mindful.  I need to turn to the Lord because he is my brother, friend and Saviour and that he knows the hardship and pains of my heart.  He talked about how the Lord commends me for my faithfulness and my childlike nature and not to loose that.  He then proceeded to tell me that Patch was once sincere, but now he was after his own interest and not my best interest. I needed to end the relationship; also that he was unwell and that I could not fix him.  Brother Stowell stated this twice.  I knew it was over.  Oh it pained me. I did not want to give him up.  I wrote him and told him and he called me the next day 9 times.  He kept trying he sent me a picture of him saying he missed me and loved me.  Then a day later he ranked on me stating that I ruined his mission in the Army and that he had last focus.  He stated to let him go and stop trying to contact him, just as I had asked him, then 20 minutes later he tries to face time me.  I began to feel like he was stalking me.  I talked with a friend who was once a LA Detective, now retired, and he told me to email Patch once more and tell him that if he showed up at my house I would have him arrested for trespassing.  He finally stopped contacting me.  I later found out, everything he wrote me he plagiarized off the internet.  I wonder if anything he said he meant.  I felt like the Princess Bride...  I will never love again, and I will never trust again, unless he is in town and I can see him and know him, but outside Utah or the Wasatch Front, I will not trust anyone.

November, the Day before Thanksgiving. 

Personal Journal Entry

Two weeks later, a guy from LDS Singles emailed me.  His name is Joe. He lives here in Layton.  We began talking and a week later, he came over to my house and hung out.  He kissed me that night.  I was sweet and wonderful.  HE stated he wanted to “court me” The next day was Thanksgiving and after he talked with his mom he came over and hung out with me. Sat we went on our first date, and he came over after lunch.  He told me he had a date that night.  I had a twinge of jealousy and I suppressed it because it is like Dr Seely said, I do not have a hold on him.  Until I have a ring on my finger and we are married, I have no say in what he does.  This is hard because I really like him.  I have prayed and I feel it is right, that if he wants to marry me, then I will say yes.  We have talked a lot about marriage and what we need for our own emotional, spiritual and mental well being.  He wants to date other women to see where he stands (he was married for 25 years and he thinks that is one of the reasons him marriage broke up is he did not get to know her and become friends with her.)  He also advised that I do what Dr. Seely has instructed me to do just that.  Date lots of people.  I don’t seem to have a lot of prospects.  I am on LDS Mingle, LDS Single, and LDS Planet, but I write people and they don’t respond, and I guess that is ok, but it is hard to date a lot of people when I am not getting dates.  I did go on two dates in one night on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.  That was interesting the guy was Mike.  He was ok.  Nice but nothing major there.  I then went on a “date, hang out” with Joe and I had such an enjoyable time.  We really connected.  I felt comfortable with him and we could talk about anything.  He said he felt the same way and he said that the old Joe would have asked me to marry him right there, but he wanted to take the advice of his bishop from when he was a teenage, and date a lot of women to know what he wanted.  That Sunday after Thanksgiving I invited myself to go to Idaho with him to drop his dogs off at a kennel because he was going to see his daughter play volleyball in Sioux City Iowa. We talked every night.  I really missed him.  I feel though I am getting to needy with him, so I need to pull back and give him some space. This is hard for me.  I want to be with him all the time, but I need to let him chase me instead of me chasing him.  I have to be patient and pull back I am really struggling with that, especially right now.  On Dec 4, I was at a clients house, stepped down on their pouch and broke my foot.  Sprained my ankle terribly.  SO now I am laid up and I am bored.  I want to get back to work.  I miss it.  The one time I LOVE my job and want to be there, I get hurt and have to stop working while I heal.  UGH!!  I want to be at work.  OH I LOVE MY CAREER.  Dr. Seely thinks I need to get a job with benefits, but I love my job to much I do not want to give it up.  So I am not sure what I am going to do with benefits, but I am not giving up my job. 

The client that I started, (yes that was the first time I was there) I so want to be with.  It is close, it is 33 hours a week and the guy seems really interesting.  I want that client, but Ryan, my boss, said he cannot hold it for me L  I hope they request me so I can go back.  Oh that Ryan will let me have it when I am back up.  I hope I can be back up by Wednesday or Thursday.  I pray that I will be able to get back to work and I can have this client.

SO Now I am sitting here trying to figure out what to do cuz I am bored . . .  I hate being trapped and alone.  I thought I could handle this when Mom and Dad died and I have my own house and am alone, but I am sure I will not be able to handle it.  BORED!!!

Well two weeks later, my bone has separated more, and now I have to have surgery.  Yeah, who knows how much longer I will be off my foot.  The Monday before Christmas Joe, me, Mom, Darrell and the kids went to Temple Square.  It was so enjoyable and Joe and I had a great time.  I was looking forward to Christmas Eve because Joe was coming… and an hour before he was to get off work he said he was coming down with something. He thought it might be the flu.  So he never showed up. Didn't even text and say he felt horrible, just didn't show up.  I felt depressed. I tried to be all happy and all, but I was disappointed.  I have just figured that I need to get use to disappointment because I can never have a happy ever after as I think I want in my head.  I later asked him to come over and he never answered on Christmas Day.  Said he got busy.  Then the next day he had a "date". Date never happened he spent it with his Mom and sister. I feel like I am loosing him, but how can I lose something I never really had.  I feel he doesn't want to spend that much time with me.  I asked him when we were going to see each other and he said soon, I need to give this other girl some of my time.  I know he is right, but it still hurts.  I am just waiting for him to say sorry I have fallen for this girl and I don't want to see you any more.  Of course I am thinking the worse because I know nothing else.  My whole life has been a disappointment, why should now be any different?  

It just seems like he doesn't want to be with me.  I feel I am begging all the time for him to come over.  Maybe I should just expect the worse, move on and try to heal.  

There are so many times that I hear Pixie bark and I hope it is he but I know it will not be.  He just doesn't come over, let alone surprises me.  

New Year's Eve is coming.  He had asked me what I was doing and I said, hoping he would ask me out and spend it with me and he said, no that is what is on the tv right now.  That's the name of the song.  I chuckled and said oh.  Today, I asked him if we were spending it together.  He never answered.  So I should just plan to be by myself as usual.  Maybe I will just take my sleeping pills and go to bed early.  I would rather slip. To the dream state and look for the goddess of imaginary light because that is the only time I seem like I will not cry.  Is he to be with but if he wants to be with someone else I have to let him.  I keep telling myself to stop texting and calling and yet I keep doing it.  I pray I can have the strength to stop.  Just let go and plan on being alone.  Maybe forever, maybe just a while. I don't know.  All I know is I feel lonely and trapped and in a one way love.  I want to be loved I the right way, as Madonna puts it in her song.

Lyrics
I, yi yi yi
I want you the right way

I want you, but i want you to want me too

Want you to want me baby

Just like i want you
Da da, da da, da da da
I'll give you all the love i want in return

But half a love is all i feel, sweet darling

     It's too bad, it's just too sad

     You don't want me no more

But i'm gonna change your mind

Some way, somehow
I want you the right way

I want you, but i want you to want me too

Want you to want me baby

Just like i want you
 Da da, da da, da da da  


One way love is just a fantasy

To share is precious, pure and fair

Don't play with something you should cherish for life

Oh baby, don't you wanna care?

Ain't it lonely out there? 
I want you the right way

I want you, but i want you to want me too

Want you to want me baby

Just like i want you



I feel I can't talk to anyone because they just say oh he is doing this and you shouldn't feel this way.  All I can say is yeah your right, but I feel no one understands.  Maybe I am PMSing or maybe it's the change of my Meds.  I don't know.  All I know is I do not know what is going on with him, don't feel there is good communication, I don't feel like I can share what I am feeling cuz I have to give him time, but how much heartache do I have to go through to know it is over or not? 
 I just feel like the holidays have sucked and once again I am disappointed. 


Dec 31 2014

THIS SUCKS!!!  I HAVE CRIED SO MUCH THIS LAST FEW DAYS.  He never came over, never texted.  I am through crying.  I started full dose of my meds again and I hope to start feeling better.  I wrote two poems and a letter to him…

I NEED MY FRIEND Dec 29 2014

I have cried a thousand tears

I miss you every passing second

We said we were friends,

But where have you gone?

Loss, I don't know what's going on

My heart is breaking, because you left

Time with someone else you said,

I guess that means no time for others

Having a hard time, feeling lonely

This is the time I need my friend

But no one is in sight.

Even when I have people around,

I still empty inside my heart.

Where have you gone my friend?

Why the silence when I need you most?

Is this how it will always be?

Dear Lord I cannot take this any longer!

How many times must I loose and wander?

Alone again, just trying to survive.

I am tired of being on my own.

I am tired of surviving alone.

I physically ache from being cut off,

Did you want to be with me at all?

Disappointment is all I know,

I know I must unlearn what I once learned,

But how can I learn something new,

When once again, I am abandoned.

This is all I know, nothing has changed,

Alone, abandoned, disappointed is my fate,

How can I survive this once again?

Does any one care?  Does anyone understand?

I am trapped and burning with the pain I feel,

Alone again, with something that won't heal.

EMPTY TREES Dec 30 2014

I see the whiteness around me, it use to be so peaceful,

But now as the loneliness creeps in once again, I see it differently

The trees are bare of any protection, empty and broken,

Screaming for the warmth they once knew, but solitude is all there is.

The cold snow wearing down the branches that are bare

No protection can be found there

Like the troubles I feel, the pain, the heartbreak that remains,

Cold under the white fluff that is killing me inside.

The chill in the air envelopes me, piercing me to the core

The bitterness of stone that has covered my heart.

Will I feel the warmth again?  Will I forever remain in the frozen state?

The trees in this wintery condition look dead, can people see that in me?

Am I dead?  I hurt and am lonely, can I feel anything other than this?

I look forward to the spring, the rebirth of things, could I have my own spring?

Will God grant me to be renewed and free from this pain and bitterness inside?

The feelings I feel deep inside, why share? When I do, people leave.  Why?

Do I really scare people?  Are my feelings that frightening?  Why try anymore?

Abandonment is all I feel, the empty trees is how my life is, and so it must be.

I will forever be in the winter of alone, bitterness, and cold.  Bare and fragile.

When I cry, no one is here to wipe those tears away, to hold me, the tears just freeze

Reminding me of the loneliness that is left behind.  The insanity is here, I am torn

Will I forever be in this state? Will I ever find peace? Do I have these feelings as my only friend?

The depths of despair fill me, leaving me hallow and empty.  This feeling has lasted for years

For years it has lasted,  and more years to come. I cannot see the reprieving light to stop the tears.

All these fear are in my mind, but I cannot let go of what has become mine

This is all I know, scared to let it go.  Do not  know happiness, will it be different then this?

That has never been a constant companion, unlike the loneliness and pain I have felt

Empty and alone, like the trees in a storm, wind blowing and breaking the fragile limbs

The bareness that I feel, is all I can see, or have I been an expert, to be like the empty trees?

LETTER

Joe,

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.  I have wanted to give you your Christmas presents for some time.  I know you need to allow this other girl you are dating you time, and I am trying to be patient, but I need you to know how I have been feeling.  I know going down on my medicine has influenced these feelings as well, but I feel very unimportant to you.  The closing off and no longer talking to me has hurt deeply.  I thought as friends, you would at least talk to me through text or something.  I have written some poems that have expressed a lot of how I have felt this last week, and I need to share it with you so that you know.  *see other pages

I was very disappointed when you couldn't make Christmas Eve dinner, then on Sat when I texted you about New Years Eve, you ignored the question of whether we were going to do something, then I never heard back from you which broke my heart.  I have felt very alone, isolated.  Isolation and lack of communication is the two worse things that I have a hard time to handle.  I want to be with you, but I feel you really don't want to be with me.  I just don’t know or understand what's going on.  In the past, when I have shared deep feeling of how I feel about something, or what I am feeling deep inside, either emotionally or what I have felt from Heavenly Father, that person always leaves me.  I told you about my experience in the temple and poof, like everyone else in my life…. Gone.  How am I to let down my guard and think there are good guys out there when the moment comes, and I share the deep intimate feelings, they leave?

Something you should know, is when a man stops talking to a woman, the natural thing for a woman to think, is what have I done wrong, so I am wondering, what did I do wrong?  Did I do something wrong? Do you just need to do you thing and I need to leave you alone for weeks?  You said you would tell me, but when I do not hear from you I don't know how you are feeling.

Anyhow, I will be finding out on Monday when I have to have surgery, but the way I feel right now, it doesn't matter.  I am trying to be patient and give you space and time.  I want to work through this and find out if you want to be with me too.  Maybe you don't know, but you are not communicating anything to me.  I don't want to give up, and I am still here, but very broken.

Forever yours,

Dianna

P.S.

It is a day after I have written the above; I want to add this….  I am not trying to end things, and I hope you do not take this negatively.  I am afraid you are going to say; “well I can’t be what you need” and end it.  I do not want that, but I want you to be aware of the feelings I am having.  This is what happens when I get into my low stages.  I think you need to know this of me.  I know you are going through a lot of things, and I do not want to add to the stress, I want to be an encouragement to you.  I want to support you in your righteous endeavors.  I know you are not perfect, and I am not expecting you to be.  I hope you do not think this letter is about you being perfect, because I cannot expect you to be, because I am not.  No one is.

I know our Heavenly Father has His hand in our lives.  He has guided you and me together.  I know He is allowing these hardships to be on us to grow and learn.  I have faith that the Lord knows more than I, and that what ever will be will be.  I pray that I will have the strength while you work out your own demons to come to the path the Lord has planned for you.  I am with you forever my friend.  I am here….  Not so broken anymore.  

                                                   2015

I had Surgery Jan 8th on my foot.  And so I had 2 more months of being off it.  Joe came to the house once for a movie, and then he went silent.  AGAIN!  It had been a week then I heard a hello through text.  All we did was text for the next 3 weeks.  He was always busy or tired.  I was not going to beg for him to come over, but I wanted him to.  I couldn't go to him....

Needless to say, one day I got tired of it.

SO I texted.....

Hey. So can I ask what happened? You went silent, then you apologized, then you went silent again. I just am so confused. It's not just that I bothers me that you keep silent, it deeply hurts. I feel you are just keeping me on the side for what ever reason. I know you have to do this dating thing, but am I still being considered as a marriage possibility. I told you I will fight for what I feel is right, but I'm slowly being broken down. I'm trying to be patient, I'm trying to date but the men just don't feel right. I don't know what to think and feel right now. I just feel very hurt. You apologized, but nothing changed….. I don't want to say what I did wrong, because I am amazing and you'd be lucky to have me, but what happened? I felt we hit it off so well then as the days went on you pulled further and further away like you didn't want to be around me. I am so confused….. 

I wish I kept what he wrote, but basically said that while dating one he was going to do exactly what he thought he would do by dating another girl and ignore the other one.  That his goal of dating multiple women to find out what he wants was satisfied and that he did not think he was the one for me.  

YA THINK???  If a guy closes off and will not talk to me, then yeah, he isn't the one for me because I need communication. Communication breaks down everything does.

I've gone out with a few men since, but it isn't the same...  I still miss Joe, but I have to let him go and move on.....   I can't live in the past that had no future....

 

 

Thought I found somoene to share my life with....

So this last 3 weeks I have been speaking with a man who I connected with immediately. He is pretty amazing. We were doing great until he asked me for some money. He wanted to send it to his two daughters. It was because they had to keep up with their friends and what they had was not enough. I felt this was ridiculous. That was pride talking. That was the vain pride of the world. These were not my ideas to raise children. Yes, children need some things, but everything they desire, that just makes them spoiled. He could not see this. We could not come to a compromise. So I had to let him go. My heart is breaking. I thought I finally found the one I could share my life and eternity with, but with our life goals not equal... Well it was something I had to let go of. Now, I feel no one will every want me and what is the point? Maybe I am destine to be alone. To not have anyone in my life. Before this meeting with this man, I felt complete. I felt that the world was bright and I could be alone. Now I feel lonely again, and I just feel like I cannot make it... What a cruel joke on me. Love is not for me.. I am wishing on someone elses star....

The Graduate!

Yup, I finally graduated! I walked across the stage on April 22 2011 with my Bachelor of Science. English with a minor in Health Promotions. It was a warm day and there was excitement in the air. I was a bit nervous, but the idea that I was graduating had not hit. (it still hasn't) I walked across the stage received my diploma CASE, and sat down. It was great seeing the professors I worked with from years ago, (I use to work in the English department) and the professors whom taught me. It was a delight and a satisfaction that after 12 years of working on my Bachelors, I finally did it! Yeah me!! It has taken me a little over a month to do a new posting. Hopefully now that I am finished with school.... for a while.... I can keep up on my blog. I am grateful for this opportunity of learning. I would not trade the experiences for anything because it has brought me to the person I want to be today. I have more growing to do, and I am looking forward to the next stage in my life.

Christmas Time

Christmas time is here. Though I am still waiting for the snow. I don't particularly want to drive in it, so if it snows on Dec 23 and keeps snowing til the 25th, I would be happy. :) The semester for Weber is done. That is where I have been since summer, trying to finish my bachelors. I am excited. I am done with my major, which is English. I have 3 classes left in my minor, which is Health Promotions. I am going to graduate in April (April 29th 2011 to be exact LOL! but who is counting.. FIVE MONTHS BEFORE I GRADUATE!!!)
Work is wonderful! I LOVE MY JOB!!! They have been very supportive and patient with me as I am finishing my schooling. It was my boss Brett who urged me to finish my Bachelor. While in classes this fall, I was encouraged by some of my English professors to get my Masters. I am not sure I will do that just yet. Already burned out with school. The semester for LDSBC finishes this week. Many students are not going to be happy with grades, but there is nothing I can do about that. It is one of the other teachers who is in charge, therefore it is not my call.
I am planning a trip to England and Scotland in May of 2011. Yes, that is the same year that the Olympics will be in London, and I look forward to MISSING it. To many people. I hope that tourism is down just a little because people are saving to come to London in July. I like the smaller crowds. :)
Nothing else is going on right now. I hope to blog a bit more than I have been, but my life is pretty stable and not much changes. I am working and saving and trying to get out of debt. That is about it LOL. I know.... NO LIFE... I enjoy my quiet life. Well that is it for now. Byeeeee!!!

New Year

I had to create a new Blog because I forgot my log in information so here it goes... back to the beginning....

January 22 2010
I had a blog but something went wrong so I had to start a new one, which is probably good since this is a new year and I have decided to get rid of everything negative in my life... Yup that means you.. Nah, just joking..

I am working at LDS Business College as the

Medical Assistant Practicum Coordinator. Which basically means that I place students in externships through out the community and practice what they have learned in class. This job is such a blessing to me. It works with my health and ironically enough, since I started here I have not had as many health issues... coincidence? I think not. The Lord is blessing me. He has made this job for me. I just had to be patient and when it opened, BAM!! I got it. When I was at the interview, I was unsure about the job, but as I left I KNEW I had the job. I just KNEW it. I went home, prayed about it, thought about it, discussed it with Mom and Dad (as I always do with most everything in my life... What a blessing to have such wonderful parents). ANYHOW, back to the story.. I then waited and waited and they finally called and set up an appointment to come visit with President Richards. (The president of the college). I met with him, and felt at ease the moment I saw him -- that is not hard anyhow because he puts people at ease -- We spoke for about a half hour, then I left. I still felt like I was suppose to be there; I was to have this job. A week later they called and offered me the job. I jumped at it. What a blessing.

I spoke to Brett Who is the director over the MA Program, and he informed me that I make my own hours, I come and go as I want. As long as I get my 30 hours in there is no problem. (that is the one draw back of the job, I am only part time so no benefits, but the Lord will provide when he feels I am ready and needed).

I LOVE MY JOB!!!

Now the beginning of January, I had some problems with my lapband and had to have immediate surgery. I spoke to Brett about it and he said, "this is a good time, go get it taken care of." What kind of job would be kicked back and ok about an employee, who has only been with them for less than 4 months, to take a week off without any fuss. I am TRULY BLESSED!!!